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milkhare / portent / sacrifice

milkhare / portent / sacrifice

Milkhare / Sacrifice / Portent

April 11, 2019

I started thinking about witchcraft. It started the same way as anything else, it just bubbled up to the surface at some point when I wasn’t paying attention. It might have had its seed in a show I signed on for at Haven Gallery, a show themed for folklore, and so I had to fit something into that. It was sneaky and so I don’t recall the actual beginning, just the point when it had taken hold. I only noticed once I was reading about the various poisons associated with western witches, the plants that they used to kill and to create dark magic like nightshade, mandrake and fly agaric mushrooms, the creatures they worked through like hares and goats. The pieces are three separate aspects of musing about witchcraft, about trying to cajole order out of confusion, looking for a system.

A milkhare is a manifestation of a witch, a familiar they would use to steal milk from farmers. The hare drinks the milk and returns it to the witch. I’m not certain why the concept is so fascinating, but I find it deeply troubling. Maybe it’s easy for me to relate to the concept of darkness and uncertainty all around, that odd and awful things are happening and there must be some culprit. But who’s to blame? The outsider? Maybe there really is a monster out there beyond the pale, living in the dark woods. Anecdote and superstition substituting for fact and reason still seems to be our standard mode of operation and it doesn’t seem to have changed much over the past several hundred years. It’s disheartening.

Sacrifice is a curio to make sense of the disordered world. Surely death, blood and poison can help me through this maze. Sometimes I let the strangeness pour out and I try to hang logical sense on it later. Sometimes there doesn’t seem to be any reason or sense to be had. This seems like one of those times.

A lot of mourning doves live around my house. I end up putting them in paintings just because I see so much of them. I know that they’re just living their lives, near the neighbor’s bird feeder, but it’s easy to pin something more on them, on their sad songs and watching eyes. They’re always watching, always. Portent is about a clinging sense of dread. I don’t generally have what I’d call a hopeful outlook on the world, and the last several years feel even darker. The black goat is calm and still and grows an extra horn. The birds are carrying poison and the horns are tangled in string and hung with more nightshade. It’s uncertain. I’m uncertain. It feels calm and quiet and humming with unease all at the same time. If only I could figure out what they’re trying to tell me, maybe then I could navigate safely.

Tags oil painting, painting, witchcraft, gouache, illustration, goats, rabbits
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desire / in the house of the bear

desire / in the house of the bear

desire / in the house of the bear

January 17, 2019

I always think about California. I can honestly say I think about California every single day. I was thinking about the drought, and then about the fires, and I was trying to figure out how to put the bear into that situation.  It wasn’t my initial intention, but I ended up making a version of the Californian flag. I guess the idea was both to personalize and take a wider view of that place that I spend so much time thinking about. I gorge myself on the ideal of my life when I was there, of what it would be like if I went back. The empty bottles are for the drought, but they’re also for the empty things that I put into myself, the poisons all around us, the physical ones and the psychological ones. The poppies aren’t even the right type to really take away pain and suffering, they’re like a shadow or a ghost of their cousin. There’s uncertainty and doom all around. 

Desire is making eye contact because it’s the condition, the emotion, it’s looking at you, it wants, it’s hungry, it endlessly needs. In the House of the Bear looks away, because it’s me succumbing to the condition of desire. I’m incapable or unwilling to look at you, or I just don’t give a fuck. The fires are coming, the end is at hand, there’s nothing around to fix it, the water’s all gone. All the suffering comes from want, and often a want that I can’t identify, which only makes it more frustrating. Desire is eating an empty bottle and a flower that doesn’t help me.

If you’re interested in owning either of these paintings, contact me HERE.

Tags bear, oil painting, painting, art, gouache, acrylic painting, california
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